A Bob Dylan Kinda' Day

The sunny days these last few weeks have been beautiful and the girls have really been enjoying the time outside.  Their insatiable appetite for digging in the dirt has kept me on the lookout for a sandbox.  I found one last night on Craig's List for $10 so Jeff went and picked it up this morning.

The girls played in it all afternoon into the evening, stopping only to eat dinner and then go right back in.  We loved watching them.  It was a beautiful day for family time.

Today reminded me of the song "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan. A gorgeous song that shows my most cherished wishes for my beautiful children.

This version by the amazing Norah Jones captures the beauty well...

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young

Orange Loaf with Dried Apricots and Pecans

My morning was full of baking and cooking...not sure what came over me but my family is very happy about it. For this recipe I referred to the tried and true, good old Joy of Cooking. If you do not own this cookbook yet I highly recommend it, it is a staple in my kitchen. This recipe was a hit with my family.

Orange Loaf with Dried Apricots and Pecans
from Joy of Cooking

Have all ingredients at room temperature
Position rack in lower third of oven
Preheat to 350 degrees

Whisk together thoroughly:
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Combine in another bowl:
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup orange juice
Grated zest of 1 small lemon
Grated zest of 1 orange

In a large bowl beat on high speed until lightened in color and texture, 2 to 3 minutes:
6 Tbsp unsalted butter
2/3 cup sugar

Gradually beat in:
2 large eggs, lightly beaten

Add the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with the milk mixture in 2 parts, beating on low speed or stirring with rubber spatula just until incorporated and scraping the sides of the bowl as necessary.

Fold in:
2/3 cup coarsely chopped pecans
1/3 cup finely chopped dried apricots

Scrape the batter into the pan and spread evenly. Bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 45 to 50 minutes. Let cool in pan on a rack for 5 to 10 minutes before unmolding to cool completely on the rack.

Delicious!!

Behavior Beads

If I have learned anything about parenting in the last few months it is that nothing is constant.  My children, my husband, and I are always changing and learning from eachother.  These last few months we have faced a lot of discipline challenges.  Nothing crazy just the normal preschooler stuff like not listening, being too rough with her sister, talking back, not eating her dinner, etc. But all of this little stuff had been adding up to a whole day of arguing, crying, yelling and overall pretty frustrating days.  The previous use of the good ol' time out wasn't working anymore and we found ourselves yelling more and more every day.  We were headed in the wrong direction.

So one night as I was trying to sleep (annoying that my brain always picks this inconvenient time to give me my best ideas), I was mentally making a shopping list of what I needed to start a reward chart...a kind of list of behaviors expected with spots for sticker rewards.  I wasn't totally sold on the idea and then the idea of behavior beads came to me.  It seemed a lot more straight forward, effective, and fun for a 3 1/2 year old.  So the next day I headed off to Michael's to get my supplies...
-Colorful beads
-Princess stickers to decorate the beads received jar
-Stickers to represent rewards

I already had these supplies on hand
-3 mason jars 1 to store the beads to be gained, 1 jar for beads received and 1 to hold reward "coupons"
-Ribbon to decorate the beads received jar

So this is how it works...
She receives beads for all good behavior, getting dressed by herself, brushing her teeth, staying in bed, eating her dinner, doing something nice for her sister etc.  The number of beads depends on the good deed and we involve her a lot in the decision process of how many she gets...this is helping to further develop her already excellent negotiating skills.

Once all the beads are received she "cashes them in" for rewards.  The rewards include things like new crayons, princess crown, slushy drink from wawa, cupcake, new nail polish, ice cream etc.  I used cardstock scraps of paper with stickers on them to represent the various rewards (cupcake sticker, nail polish bottle sticker etc)...since she is not yet proficient in reading this makes it easier for her to understand how the whole process works.  The average time it takes to receive all beads is about 1 week.  We try to stick to this time period because for my daughter, I believe it is long enough for the positive behavior to be reinforced while still keeping her interested.
At the end of the process all the beads are dumped back into the "beads to be gained" jar and the process begins again.

I cannot tell you how much this has made a difference in our house! It feels much better for all of us to be reinforcing positive behavior on a consistent basis rather than yelling all the time at what she isn't doing well.  We have been using this method for over a month now...we have also adapted it to include consequences for negative behavior by taking beads away.  However, 99% of the time the mere threat of taking beads away creates the change in behavior without any further discipline needed.

As with any parenting "technique" or tool this isn't the need all end all and answer to every situation.  But, I can tell you that for our family this has made an extremely postive impact on our daughter's behavior.  As I said we are a month strong with this but I am still on my toes waiting for the next change and midnight idea to a happy healthy family. 

Happy girl!

What tools or techniques do you use for rewarding good behavior for your children?